My date with myself.

So, this is a little off-topic but I wanted to share.  On Saturday afternoon, my fabulous nanny, Gloria, as a gift to me, asked me if I would like her to take the boys to Chuck E. Cheese so I could relax.  I, of course, jumped at the opportunity and knew the boys would be just as happy.  They've never been to Chuck E. Cheese and for all I know, they'll never go again -- unless Gloria takes them.  Anyway, I decided I'd like to go to the movies and I needed to go to the Apple store so off to the Century City mall I went.

I saw EASY A which was cast my my friend and old boss, Lisa Miller Katz.  REALLY fun to see her name on the big screen (way to go, LMK!) and it was a great cast.  I sat in the director's hall or whatever it is called where you have assigned seats.  I got myself a drink and settled in.  Right as the actual movie was starting, someone came to sit beside me.  I didn't really look over as I wanted to see the credits but was thinking it was kind of weird because I was in about 5 seats and all of the other 5 closer to the aisle were empty, but this man, also alone, came and sat next to me.  I moved my drink to the other armrest, just so I wouldn't have to be so close to the stranger.  It didn't take long for me to notice the smell.  Not necessarily bad (at first) but definitely strong.  It was cologne (which I normally actually like) but this was a bad, musky one that I was definitely NOT liking.  I finally looked over to see this guy -- he was not outwardly weird but definitely artist-type, skinny, maybe 45 years old and also alone.  I'm trying to enjoy the movie but now I've noticed he has put up the armrest between us so we're like together on a couch or something and he's totally encroaching on my space.  His legs are crossed toward me (like all the way into my area) and now he's starting to actually smell bad.  Maybe he was farting or something?  Not even kidding -- he was like lifting his butt to fart all while right next to me.  That's what it seemed like at least and every now and then there was a REALLY bad smell (not the bad cologne) that would waft on by.  I have now totally moved my body to the other side of my seat, my legs up on the chair and I'm breathing into my sweatshirt.  I'm trying to shoot him semi-angry looks (I mean, really?!) but he is looking at the screen all while smelling up my space and crossing his legs over into my little bubble with his body now inching toward my body and my armrest-less, unprotected seat.

I can't enjoy the movie and I'm mad.  All I'm thinking about it, "should I get up and move?  isn't that going to cause a big scene?  should I explain myself before I get up and say I'm allergic to cologne or something?"  Then I realize, this is how really bad things happen to people, especially women.  This is how women get raped.  We're so tied up in not wanting to hurt people's feelings that we don't speak up when things get weird...and this was definitely weird.  I mean, what solo person going to the movies chooses a spot *right* next to someone else?  This was NOT a sold out movie, folks.  There were seats aplenty but this guy singled me out (lucky girl that I am).

I did get up and move.  I slid my purse down and moved over one seat.  The guy just made me feel yucky.  And guess what?  About five minutes later, the guy got up and left the theatre, never to return.  WEIRD, right?!  Finally I could relax and enjoy the movie, but don't think I wasn't looking around slightly nervously as I left the theatre.  I didn't see him, thankfully, and I was able to go to the Apple store in peace.

That night, I finished off my date by getting a massage and coming home and taking a bath.  It was a nice night for me, for the most part but ladies...PLEASE, if something feels off, it probably is...
And that's my public service announcement for the day.

Did I make him like this?

While kid #1 was at Kindergarten today, I decided to try kid #2 in a new extracurricular class. A big kid class (of 2.5-4 year olds - ha). The only reason this class was a "trial" is that this time, mommy is not in there. Mommy waits right outside the gym area next to a wall that goes up to my chest. In other words, I am so close, it's ridiculous.

Nate has been going to Dan the Man since he was very little, as has Zach. The only difference is, when Nate started, he was in the mommy & me type classes. Well, now he's 3 and he has pretty much grown out of that stage. Why is he so scared? What does he think is going to happen? Did I make him like this?

Nate is a scaredy-cat. No other way to put it. He is scared when Mommy leaves. I was the mom that sat at preschool all day every day for six (SIX!) weeks when he first started. All the other kids thought I was a teacher. While at first it was flattering to be wanted so much, I ended up feeling resentful. Last year when Nate started preschool and I had to stay all day, the timing happened to coincide with my husband's trip to China. I was literally the only one there to take care of them 24/7 and I didn't even get the 3 hour break of preschool. Not only that, but when we got home, he was MEAN to me! I was tired, unshowered, I could get nothing done for myself and I was resentful.

Zach was never like this. He has always been Mr. Independent since he was a tiny baby. I remember taking him to Music Together and he would crawl away and sit on other moms' laps or just be off doing his own thing. People would ask me, "Where's YOUR baby?" and I'd reply lamely, "Oh, he's over there..." pointing to my curious, independent child across the room. I'll tell you the truth. THAT kinda hurt my feelings, too. Was I not a good enough mother that he wants to go sit on someone else's lap?! Now Zach is a Kindergartener. He started last week. And while all the other kids held onto their mommys' and daddys' hands apprehensively, my child walked right into his classroom without looking back. I really appreciate this about Zach now, especially after Nate and his fearfulness.

I guess what I'm getting at is that moms (or maybe just me?) NEVER feel like they're doing a good enough job. Somehow it is always our fault that our kid is one way or another. I'm not sure how I should have reacted today to Nate's refusal to go into the class (even though he said he wanted to go and we drove all the way over there...ugh). I told him I was disappointed and we went home (after a lot of begging and pleading, from me - not him). I also told him not to expect to get to just go home and watch "The Little Mermaid" 'cause that's NOT going to happen. Maybe I shouldn't have been so tough on him. I made him take a nap, instead, to which he put up very little fight. Maybe he's just tired. Maybe he wasn't in the mood. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

I'll tell you one thing, though: after having one kid on either side of the spectrum, I'm beginning to understand that it is not my fault as much as I may want to blame myself. That is a relief.

Back to School!

My oldest son started Kindergarten. He loves it. There is nothing that makes me happier.

My husband and I decided to send our children to private school (even though it reeeaaallllyyyy stretches us financially) because we truly believe there is no better "thing" to spend money on other than education. We want the love of learning to come early ~ and somehow we feel LAUSD wouldn't quite see our son the way we do.

We're coming into week two of Kindergarten -- the first full week (and it's not even full). Last week consisted of a back to school picnic, "make new friends" day and two days that ended at 12:00. We are easing into K nicely.

One chore that comes with back to school time is lunch packing. This year we will have a LOT more flexibility as we neither need to be parve Kosher nor peanut-free! BIG difference from preschool! I sat down with Zach and we chatted about things that he likes to eat and would like to have in his lunch. I will be interested to see if it works to make him a part of the decision making process. This usually DOES work, however with lunches and food choices -- you never know.

I'd like to have a chart up in the kitchen so the boys can choose from what we have. I got this idea from Martha. I'd love to actually institute it in my home. It seems like it would help me stay on top of the packed lunch situation (and it looks cute too!). Whatever it takes to get them to eat, right?